Today is dedicated to the Rednecks... they come in all shapes and sizes and from all over the world, they have many different names.... Rednecks, Hillbillies, Inbreeders, Townies etc etc the list goes on and on... i think every country around the world has their own form of the "Redneck" which makes this a wonderfully diverse topic :-)
Before we get started my rants and raves for the day................
1. how can Trevor Manuel be called a racist when he works for the ANC and is coloured himself... makes no sense to me...
2. Greys Anatomy... honestly Dr Mcdreamy and Mcsteamy and Dr BigMac and Nurse Quarter poundher... that show is so so so so bad... drama drama drama, i'd hate to work with those people something is always getting messed up... you'd think after like 8 seasons and god knows how many years together one of the claver doctors would have said "fuck this i'm out of here... you guys are bad luck... if its not shootings or stabbings or metel illness or pregnacy or cheating all amongst a group of 8 people...." Should be Gays Anatomy......
3. People posting FB status they say "i'm so bored" or "have nothing to do" get a life, get a job, get a Hobby... something please i hate to hear how much time these people have on their hands to just sit around and do nothing....
4. People on the Highway doing 100km/h in the fast lane and then they wont move... i just want to run them off the road and crush their skulls in the door while they try to get out.... or drag them down the highway at 100km/h in the fast lane and see how they like it.....
5. peole that hesitate at stop signs.... its simple if you got there first you go first... sort of like a queue but not... IDIOTS
6. Foreigners who come to South Africa and only visit Cape Town cause they are afraid they'll get murdered anywhere else in South Africa... Idiots... you'll get killed just as quick in Cape Town, Melbourne, New York... if you go looking for trouble 9 times out of 10 you'll find it... regardless of the Town or City
Okay enough of that.... here are some Redneck Jokes and Pics....
Hope you enjoy it :-)
THE TOP COUNTRY & WESTERN SONGS THIS WEEK
7. I Never Went To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few.
6. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
5. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause She Might Win.
4. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.
6. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.
5. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause She Might Win.
4. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here.
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.
1. Its hard to kiss the lips at night, that chewed my ass all day
Redneck computer terms
BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer
FAX - What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer
FAX - What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
Cheers
Mr Faice
