Sorry for the large delay between posts its been a hell of a week so far... i have a couple of Rants and Raves before we get through to the EMO jokes and insults...
1. People who speed and drive recklessly when it rains, not only are you putting your life at risk but you are messing with mine and that isn't fair... Ladies and Gents i know this sounds more like a whine but seriously...when it rains slow down and put your lights on... i drove past a car crash on the way to work and i tell you what those oaks are bloody lucky to be alive... thanks to airbags and crumple zones... the car is a write off though and yeah lets see you get to work now.....
2. Parents who drive around with their little kids standing on the front seat or even the backseat for that matter... all it takes is one emergency stop and BAM kids through the windscreen... c'mon people car seats for a reason... they did a study in the US of A and they said that even the strongest guy in the world can not hold onto a baby in a head on collision at 60km/h... the one oak who could hold onto the test baby held it so tightly that he broke its back (it was a CRASH TEST BABY)
3. Walking into a music store to hear the most Vial, nauseating folk music that even the "tannies" turn their noses up when they walk into the shop... surely people realise that they must play to the crowd....
4. Comedians that swear to much... some comedians use bad language very well others not... after watching the all star comedy jam i was a little dissapointed... the jokes were funny dont get me wrong but i did feel like a needed a shower by the time they were done because of all the swearing... now i swear alot but only for affect but these guys were all Fuck this and that and your mama and my mama and mother trucker this and mother trucker that... it was really heavy.... surely a clever use of words is far funnier that just plain blatant bad vocabulary...
5. The amount of Gimmicks for sale... from shocking machines for muscles that shock your shit into shape to vibraiting tables that shack the fat right off your ass... and these arent the only ones... miricle cleaners that are the same as handy andy with a different label... pillows to stop you snoring... pills to make you skinny, fat, muscular and give you a couple of inches extra on your manhood... its all really ridiculous, honestly people how do folks fall for that shit....
Okay Okay enough of that... i know you are only here for the EMO jokes so here goes.......
Emo is a short term for the word 'emotional. When we talk about emo jokes, it concerns youngsters who are so emotional that it seems funny and outrageous. They are based on the stereotypical image of those who call themselves emo, skinny jeans, bad hair, kak attitudes and a love of blaming others for every problem they encounter. The aim behind these jokes is to enlighten the sad souls of emo people and hopefully showing then the light... if they dont melt.... :-)
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three, one to place it, & two to write a poem about how they miss the old one. | |
What do you say to an emo kid to make him cry outside the mall? You say anything and he would start crying. | |
Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues. | |
How can you tell its an emo guy hitting on you and not a regular dude? Instead of asking for your phone number, he asks for your poetry blog. | |
Why do emo kids always take the flight that leaves at midnight? They prefer to take the red-eye. | |
Whats the difference between emo grass and normal grass? Emo grass cuts itself. | |
What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid? Stop crying. You?re stealing all of the negative attention. | |
If a blonde and an emo jump off a bridge, who will drown first? The blonde - from the emos tears on the way down | |
What's the difference between an Emo kid and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry. | |
Edwin, an emo, goes to confession and confesses that he had an affair with a girl. Priest says that he could not be forgiven unless he tell name of the girl. The emo says that he has promised not to tell her name. Father asks, was it Mary Patricia, the cleaner's daughter?" Emo says "No, and I said I wouldn't tell." "Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?" "No, and I still won't tell!" "Was it Mary Francis, the accountant's daughter?" "No," says the boy. "Well, son," says the priest, "I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months." Outside the church were Edwin's friends asking him what happened. "Well," Edwin said "I got six months, but three good leads         Well folks thats all so far... check back often for more funnies..... Mr Faice |
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